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The Pyramid

 A simple way to look at your needs and take care of yourself

Personal Needs

These are relevant to you. For instance, one person may be satisfied eating beans & rice, but another may want tuna and asparagus. These basic needs are your personal foundation.

Relationship Needs

A safe attachment bond is critical to human life. Children get this need met by their parents. Adults get this need met when in a committed relationship. The measuring stick is how deeply connected you feel to your partner.

Life Expansion

Once your personal and relational needs are met, then you can expand your life. Some ways people do this are by raising a family, deepening a relationship, pursuing professional endeavors, and supporting a community.

Taking Care of Yourself

Life finds a way to chip away at you. Kids grow up. Jobs change. People get sick. When one or more of your needs are affected, step back and take care of yourself.

Focused Effort

When stepping back and taking care of your needs, it is necessary to focus your efforts. If you continue to be pulled in so many directions, you will stay stuck.


Beware of either situation...

House of Cards

If you stubbornly plow ahead with life expansion when your personal and relationship needs are unmet, then you will feel tension. The same is true with your relationship if your personal needs aren't met. Be careful so that everything you've built doesn't fall.

Cracked Foundation

Everyone experiences trauma (aka heightened stress response system). When trauma is present, efforts to meet your needs will not create a solid foundation. Heal the trauma first, and do it with the support of others who care about you.